Friday, November 6, 2009 Y 10:14 AM
I know I am fucked up. Failing my n levels I guess. Taking Private O level next year.
Think back I realise how much time I have wasted, I guess I am just dissapointed ? I just cant accept the fact that I suck in my studies. But now I do. I am fucking lazy, dumb, my character sucks, everything. I am all but decent.
I am gonna let my parents down again.
Fuck I cant help it. I don't mean to, I really don't. Everyone wants to make their parents proud. Everyone wants to be proud of themselves. I am not. I never was.
I cant go on like this, O level is my last chance. I have to stop thinking of my past, it is bring me down. Fuck it, Fuck my past. Im moving on, FUTURE thats where I am going. Is the only place left to go.
I wont look back, I wont.
Coz I hate people looking down on me. Especially my BROTHER. Yeah we used to be close, but now you think I wont change. I am trying, and I keep trying to get you back. I tried to pull up my grades. This is the best I can do. But like you said to me,trying is never enough, you want me to surpass my limits. I will keep trying, can you see? I guess not cos the impression you had me is just a pathetic girl with no future to walk too. Yeah we will see, if that really happens. Just don't give up on me. cos I have not.
( don't let them say you aint beautiful, they can all get fucked just stay true to you)
