Today should be the worst day of my life. I meet wei sheng and his friends to get back the amaths book from him. There was three girls, and what the fuck wei sheng suddenly so close to me and sort of tell them I am his girlfriend. Fuck I don't even know anything. And I am pissed off coz we are just friends nothing else. At least he could have warn me to play along and be his girlfriend.


this thursday, watching 2012 with them. And I am his partner. I guess I am not going. I dont want to play along, neither am i interested in him. In fact I hate him. I don't even wanna be your friend any more. YOU CHANGED.

I know I am fucked up. Failing my n levels I guess. Taking Private O level next year.
Think back I realise how much time I have wasted, I guess I am just dissapointed ? I just cant accept the fact that I suck in my studies. But now I do. I am fucking lazy, dumb, my character sucks, everything. I am all but decent.

I am gonna let my parents down again.

Fuck I cant help it. I don't mean to, I really don't. Everyone wants to make their parents proud. Everyone wants to be proud of themselves. I am not. I never was.

I cant go on like this, O level is my last chance. I have to stop thinking of my past, it is bring me down. Fuck it, Fuck my past. Im moving on, FUTURE thats where I am going. Is the only place left to go.


I wont look back, I wont.

Coz I hate people looking down on me. Especially my BROTHER. Yeah we used to be close, but now you think I wont change. I am trying, and I keep trying to get you back. I tried to pull up my grades. This is the best I can do. But like you said to me,trying is never enough, you want me to surpass my limits. I will keep trying, can you see? I guess not cos the impression you had me is just a pathetic girl with no future to walk too. Yeah we will see, if that really happens. Just don't give up on me. cos I have not.


( don't let them say you aint beautiful, they can all get fucked just stay true to you)

I hate this feeling where I longed for someone.

I hate this depressed feeling.

I knew long ago those feelings has faded.

Fuck, tomorrow I will be better,I know I will be.

Is been so long since i blog!I kinda sucks at editing this and that, but i will learn. :) I am so happy,I got a job at jurong point,but I have to start work at december. Which is kinda late :( When I went in there and asked for a job vacancy, a guy popped his head out, ( i swear he look like one HOT guy) but realise that HER name is yvonne. I guess she can see the shocked expression on my face.
It will be fun coz the stuff there are very friendly :) I would love to make friends with them. Before that I went to MDIS to ask for more information on ptve olevels but they mak me wait so long!

After Jp I was supposed to meet weisheng at bedok comerical school, but I was tired and late so I canceled it. After his exams, we are going to watch 2012 with his friends. It would be my first time hanging out with them, kinda werid but im sure it will be fun! I cant wait, is been ages since I meet him :)

allright I have written a post. Here says that I have to post in order to preview the blog skin. damm it never happen before. Or am I just outdated?

When I reached home, I helped my dad type out his project, man is tiring! while typing I remember I had been negleting my bestF, ahhhhhh I will msg her after this post. I hope she can do well in her Olevel! *pray You know you can do it, give your best shot!After your Olevels you can complain to me all you want, I will listen :)

Im done here, I dont know if i should watch hot shot now.....
Going to msg BestF!

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November 2009



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